missing

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dougsdinner
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Re: missing

Post by dougsdinner » Tue Sep 26, 2017 12:51 pm

innocent bystander wrote:i really miss:

Keyop - although as he's exiled in the north i will try and see him over the yuletide period.

strategy - although he's on twitter

techmouse - even though he's ginger

the rest, pfft... who?

who do you miss?
Jesus, can't believe it's been that long since Keyop did one up North.
I remember when this were all fields....
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Dan Badbro_
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Re: missing

Post by Dan Badbro_ » Wed Sep 27, 2017 10:19 am

Your mom lol
~Lander~ wrote:I don't want too many sparkles in this
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Fri Feb 02, 2018 10:51 pm

:(
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shaman
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Re: missing

Post by shaman » Sat Feb 03, 2018 11:59 pm

:cheer:
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Wed Feb 21, 2018 11:40 pm

:woo:
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Sat Jan 04, 2020 4:40 am

swiss wrote:
Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:26 am
Errorbush_ wrote:I miss Swiss doing stories based on loose facts.
Loose facts :?:
These factual stories have been lost ?
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TT_
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Re: missing

Post by TT_ » Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:12 pm

swiss wrote:
Sat Jan 04, 2020 4:40 am
swiss wrote:
Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:26 am
Errorbush_ wrote:I miss Swiss doing stories based on loose facts.
Loose facts :?:
These factual stories have been lost ?
its true, needs more swiss
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Sun May 24, 2020 9:29 pm

TT_ wrote:
Sun Mar 29, 2020 8:12 pm
swiss wrote:
Sat Jan 04, 2020 4:40 am
swiss wrote:
Sun Mar 16, 2014 1:26 am
Errorbush_ wrote:I miss Swiss doing stories based on loose facts.
Loose facts :?:
These factual stories have been lost ?
its true, needs more swiss
:woo:
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Tue May 26, 2020 12:46 am

We could sell it in public toilets across the land, you can stand sideways on to the door with a superman suit on as a WKD sodden youth comes a stumbling through the door you will announce that you have found the secret to eternal life, this will shock the underage rapscallion. Intrigued however he will ask for the info in a series of sideways head movements whilst almost closing one eye in a bizarre wink

PISS BALLOON you bellow


piss shhss baboobbonn ? his fluttering eye seems to echo

We lead him to the urinal [I'm now on my feet it's a fucking mess over here tbh] you instruct the the lad to hold his foreskin shut whilst he pisses, I offer to help but you slap my hand away and instruct me to continue with the cape flapping..I know my place and do so

He squeezes it shut and after 10 minutes his nerves subside and the wee gushes forth BALOON TIME

Laughing manically at his swollen cover of the glans, exposing the blue wkd sodden lips a look of shock spreads quickly - and he releases his grip, a firework of piss explodes onto the urinal BUT a drop or two...maybe even three or four lands onto the cape

This displeases superspesh, a frown quickly traces across your forehead unsticking the curl we spent fucking 2 hours doing

You instruct me to stop the flapping of the cape, I continue for a while in the hope that the rage will subside, but it doesn't....no..it gets worse, you spin round and slap that cape out of my hands - the once safe, secure curl of hair - unstuck from your forehead now resembling a horn...like a really upset unicorn towering over me and the oi oi lout like a bastion of danger

Closing your eyes you deeply inhale, the smell of stale piss and the chaps lynx bothers you not, you are on a mission here..no, WE are on a mission, to educate the minions about the gooch press, the piss balloon was for lols but now the game has changed

Moving towards the now cowering youth, one arm clutching the porcelain piss receptacle, crying loudly and openly in the vain hope he will be heard by another of his ilk, but they do not hear his cries

Closer you move in, unperturbed by the red sodden eyes until the hair horn of rage touches and curls up bit more on his nose, staring into his eyes.....cheap vodka based pop breath swathing over your face.....you say

HELLO

Laughing manically you say to the now quivering wreck that you look like dom joly and instruct me to piss piss flap the cape again whilst smoothing down the devilhorn

Then you say 'look 'ere mate all you need to do is press the gooch a few time instead of the old shaking thing'

And we move onto the next pub
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Tue May 26, 2020 12:46 am

We could sell it in public toilets across the land, you can stand sideways on to the door with a superman suit on as a WKD sodden youth comes a stumbling through the door you will announce that you have found the secret to eternal life, this will shock the underage rapscallion. Intrigued however he will ask for the info in a series of sideways head movements whilst almost closing one eye in a bizarre wink

PISS BALLOON you bellow


piss shhss baboobbonn ? his fluttering eye seems to echo

We lead him to the urinal [I'm now on my feet it's a fucking mess over here tbh] you instruct the the lad to hold his foreskin shut whilst he pisses, I offer to help but you slap my hand away and instruct me to continue with the cape flapping..I know my place and do so

He squeezes it shut and after 10 minutes his nerves subside and the wee gushes forth BALOON TIME

Laughing manically at his swollen cover of the glans, exposing the blue wkd sodden lips a look of shock spreads quickly - and he releases his grip, a firework of piss explodes onto the urinal BUT a drop or two...maybe even three or four lands onto the cape

This displeases superspesh, a frown quickly traces across your forehead unsticking the curl we spent fucking 2 hours doing

You instruct me to stop the flapping of the cape, I continue for a while in the hope that the rage will subside, but it doesn't....no..it gets worse, you spin round and slap that cape out of my hands - the once safe, secure curl of hair - unstuck from your forehead now resembling a horn...like a really upset unicorn towering over me and the oi oi lout like a bastion of danger

Closing your eyes you deeply inhale, the smell of stale piss and the chaps lynx bothers you not, you are on a mission here..no, WE are on a mission, to educate the minions about the gooch press, the piss balloon was for lols but now the game has changed

Moving towards the now cowering youth, one arm clutching the porcelain piss receptacle, crying loudly and openly in the vain hope he will be heard by another of his ilk, but they do not hear his cries

Closer you move in, unperturbed by the red sodden eyes until the hair horn of rage touches and curls up bit more on his nose, staring into his eyes.....cheap vodka based pop breath swathing over your face.....you say

HELLO

Laughing manically you say to the now quivering wreck that you look like dom joly and instruct me to piss piss flap the cape again whilst smoothing down the devilhorn

Then you say 'look 'ere mate all you need to do is press the gooch a few time instead of the old shaking thing'

And we move onto the next pub
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Tue May 26, 2020 12:50 am

dunno or care why it posted twice

happy belated berfday jimmy xxxx
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swiss
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Re: missing

Post by swiss » Tue May 26, 2020 12:54 am

Spesh made me buy the next round too, cunt
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Re: missing

Post by leme » Thu Jul 02, 2020 4:42 pm

berks is did, long live de berks :spiv: :batty: :perv:
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