Fandango Baglips wrote:
I'm quite intrigued as a matter of interest how the issue was communicated to you. Do you have a memory of the incident that feels like your memory, or were you too young and are the memories you have based on an accounts of the incident communicated to you?
Clearly a significant incident in your development. I'm very interested in how directly you link it with the aetiology of your psychological issues. What part of the incident do you believe caused your depression and sociability issues?
Bollocks. I know somebody who's mum dropped him once. Well, maybe twice and he turned out to be ok. Great with kids and loves a laugh. Looksa bit fucked though. Might have a picture of him somewhere....
In seriousness though, how can you be sure your mum dropping you made you depressed?
My mum put a nappy on my head when I was a baby. I nearly suffocated and died. There was no physical damage to my brain caused by this. As I was a baby I had no real memory as such, so was basically uneffected by the incident.
When I was about 8 my mum suffered an episode of severe depression - during this she communicated to me her guilt about the incident I mentioned previously. Part of this whole process started something happening with the way I constructed my reality, something that in combination with other external factors lead to me developing complex maladjusted behaviours. This in turn lead to isolation and eventually depression.
Did the initial incident cause my depression? Did I believe it did? What is more pertinent?
And the answer to your question, in my opinion, is belief. As belief is the only source of surety - everything
else is just a best guess at making sense of a world that aint made to be made sense of.