Me In Black

A comedy-action film about me secretly fighting aliens while wearing a flashy black suit.

Sand By Me
Four primary school kids go on an adventure across the playground.
They are narrowly misssed by the weird kid pretending to be a steam train, then lie down next to the sand pit.
The English teacher mutters to himself, incessantly, through out.

Batma
Bruce Wayne's gran goes bat shit mental vigillante in a batwing dress after her prize winning battenberg
is mushed by muggers on the way to the W.I.

Jaw
The big screen adaptation of Viz's Pathetic Sharks finally gets the green light.

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The Krate Kid
A Japanese handyman teaches a young boy how not to get bullied in a warehouse.

Shat
A black private detective has one too many vindaloos before unleashing his fury on unsuspecting NY lavatories.

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Star Wars Episode I

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The Tone Killer
Biopic of Sonny John Moore

Bon Free

French world cinema about the excellent example rearing of two lions by a coupe in Africa (subtitled)

bogie nights -

burt reynolds returns in this prequel, despite it snot having much relevance to the original

the last tarfighter -

not quite a tar wars rip off, although with similar asphalt based theme

the taking of Elham 123

The bus service in Elham, Kent, is disrupted as Walter Matthau takes a strong dislike to being told he cant get on without the correct change

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Litter

Mariah dreams of making it big as a singer but things take a backseat when she suffers a mental breakdown, exposes herself in public, and as a punishment, is forced to take part in a community service program for her local parks cleanup scheme.


(Not really inferior, I'd prolly watch this)

The shoot hoses don't they

Classic noir staring Jane Fonda in a last chance dance competition. Peter North on Oscar winning hosing duties

The Men That Stare At Oats - The world staring championships - Sponsored by Quakers Oats

Old Finger - Roger Moore confirms Bond comeback.

Octopuss - 8 way penetration gang bang flick.

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Diving Miss Daisy

Jessica Tandy gets a new lease of life by reliving some interracial felatio memories of her youth.

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The last temptation of Chris

Chris has to ask himself serious questions after a night binge drinking with freinds. When the obligatory "one for the road?" debate is disused the results are devastating

Petty Woman

A twisted tale of a narrow-minded, argumentative female's life spiralling out of control until she finally hits rock bottom and succumbs to drugs and prostitution and then dies.